April 05, 2007
ARK-ANSAS
What kind of a state is that? muuu, if you move things around just a tad it changes things to a whole different state. That is what I a going for in my move across the uniter states again back to Georgia or GEO-Riga. I"ve not given anything in the past two years enough time to grow into anything so if this time period is efforts to find my self then I must still be cooking in the oven. My next act in the kitchen might be as a chef:) I am in efforts to get a job as a sushi girl in Augusta. IT will be a sweet little job to do while I am in school.
I wonder what kind of cookie I'll be? SUGUUUUR Or double Chocolate chip? NO, I am a Chocolate Cherry Cake with Chocolate butter cream frosting made with bitter sweet dark 85% coco bean. Currently the cake is with Cricket in Little Rock.
Cricket is doing a show for all of the beaded wonders tonight and then we are off to dine. Cricket is more beautiful then ever but a little stressed about her show starting at 4:30. It was nice to talk to her about her faith yesterday. This year has been a sad state of faith it is strange to think about what I was doing last year at this time and how I am showing my faith now.
I take comfort that it is not so much about how I feel or really even what I am doing every moment but that I learn. I get to recall why I have faith and start again. What wonder to know that even if I am never crazy excited I can still do for God and that I can still love through faith. I got a lot of love because i am a chocolate cherry cake with fresh pitted berries on top plus we have the frosting.
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April 03, 2007
Love Truth, but Pardon Error-Volty
Wal-Mart could be really great for the enviorment and seems to be taking steps to bring in more organic products and cut back on shipping waste. I've been watching WalWorld and it seems like for some reason they are trying to become a better organization. They still have crap health care but they have a time table to fix some big problems
so GO WAL_MART!!
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February 08, 2007
9 days
The Daytona 500 in nine days!! who will get the NEXTEL cup this year? GO Tony! It is a whole new year but with the pit times of last year...it will most likely be Jimmy Johnson. That's right I'm calling the winner nine days before Daytona
In more important news
I saw my cousins in Omaha. The Conner kids are so good. I had a wonderful time and will be heading back in april. Also I have made plans to see Barb and her kids later this year. Yippy for family.
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January 07, 2007
I've been going to church again
During the Christmas season I did not have much time off and I was silly sick. I did not get to go to church that often. Before my sickness I having a hard time just going to church. Thankfully, a combination of inablity to attend and a book from JB about Worship has healed some ills. For the past three Sundays I have been able to go to church and I have learned so much in those three Sundays.
Christmas Eve just sitting in the pew after seven weeks was wonderful. I was so emtionally drained after the service that I needed to come home and nap. Last Week the sermon made me see how self centered my life has become. This week I saw someone at Church that I never would have expected to see sitting next to me in the pew. She was so pious.
Good is so far. Thank God good is not limited by me but by Goodness.
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November 27, 2006
My new blog title I AM NOT as cool as LINNEA
Good News
My uncle that has/had cancer can now speak and swallow again.
I have a great job in fine dining and I love to crumb tables.
My benefits package is wonderful.
I've made some new friends.
I've quit my job at Longhorn.
People at my new job knew I was a Christian without me telling them which made me feel incouraged.
Bad News
I missed two weddings:(
I miss my friends of old:(
I miss having my own home:(
I am home sick but I don't really have a home:(
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October 06, 2006
better then 70% dark chocolate
Have you seen the St.John's Bible
beautiful and glorifing.
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October 05, 2006
learning something old
as a little thing I had paino lessons. I am giving it a go again since I will be here for a bit. My goal is to be able to sight read without killing people.
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September 08, 2006
I want Chacolate in BED! I DO!
The crimson petal and the white such a fun book. I must say that the book could have ended about 200 pages sooner with out changing the feel of blah, blah. The book started out simply lavish with detail and at the discription of one event I had goosebumps. Can't say that I'll read it again though like Still life with oysters and lemons. During the move I read that book yet again. I always miss something in the fluid rythum of the book. It is really more of a life poem but what ever it is, it is good for me.
also just finished Silence which reminded me too much of my fab fav Death comes to the archbishop to truly enjoy. It simply Death comes seem trite and a story told by a thousand. I guess in the end that is what both works were looking to say.
The God factor is the last book I have thus far read and it was okay for about a fourth of the way but i just could not bring myself to read anymore of it.
Poems--a great grip but all in collected works and nothing stands out in my mind but one line
coco, come to bed dear.
The poem was about a couples nightly ritual of drinking coco and then doing the Nasty with their tummy humming
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August 22, 2006
Oh, Jim I think that he really is dead.
Why didn't that doctor ever show a little more compassion? I mean the dude was dead. Today I went to the bank and I after see my bank total i knew that only one thing was left for me...eat a double cheese burger and then see my organs. The job market is not loving me and I rock! Currently I am in a mild state of stressed out. In a few weeks if I still don't have a job I think I may have to take extream measures. I was not expecting to dip into my limited savings so quickly, but that action has put this whole move into a whole new light. Great News...Tami has a job and a crazy great hair cut!!
Now I know I hate the cold but I am missing Boston. It really is a great town. Sure i am missing the people of Boston but the place itself is getting a nice the chunk of my heart.
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June 27, 2006
This hot chick checked me out on the subway. do I look to butch? NAAA.
Agh, I love the world! I feel like I can be nice to people again and not spend all of my time just trying to be kind. I have been such a mean spirited person as of late but.....last night I slept for eight hours.
What was that? Oh, yeah. Yes, I have been very closed minded and not living the Gospel in my everyday life. The clearest exampel of this has been my attitude toward my mother's wedding plans. Her soon to be husband has a past but for years I have been worried about my Mom being alone. I have been thinking all about the negative aspects of this wedding and none of the good. My mom is getting married to a man that she loves. That is reason to celebrate. Have I told anybody about him bringing her coffee in the mourning and doing devotionals with her? I don't think I have. I may only know these two good things about him but they are great big good things.How can I expect grace but not give it? He apparently loves God and her which is more then I can say for anybody I have ever dated or seriously thought about getten it on with.
I've spent alot of time justifing my concerns and anger. I should spend some time being thankful.
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June 26, 2006
now it is 3:28 and I am not alseep.
so it is 3:15 AM again and I am not asleep. now it is 3:16 AM
yesterday I watched the sunrise but i really just want to sleep.
Today was a fall day. Ya know how in the south winter means rain. Today just felt like late fall. It a good tempature but the sky and plant life just look tired. I think that is why even this warm rain makes me so tired. I feel like snow, cold, ice could happen at any given moment. I feel like I am going to miss the summer in favor of another winter. I miss the big trees and the sound of real heat. I miss bugs. I don't see any bugs here and the ones we have are so small. I cleaned out on the back landing and not one bug was chillen.
I got the best jacket today. It looks like something a ghetto indi race car driver would have. Boston does have a great shopping district. Boston is also so much fun to walk in.
I like Boston.
I do.
I do.
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June 21, 2006
In love by tea time a working title
I placed his cold body a top my right hip as my knees pointed to the wall. He sang as I opened him with my delicate touch upon ebony keys. Immediately he murmured the sixty-cycle hum while slowly my right hip warmed under his presence. His delicious speed conjuring up any memory that I called for as we lay together in the morning sun. He was more then equal to the task but what would I think of myself in the morning?
I can’t.
I can’t write a romance novel.
Half the joy of reading one is the clandestine manner in which I go about it and then run out of my bedroom telling the house of the plot line. A quarter of the fun is justifying my habit to myself while trying to convince others it is not just my melted marshmallow center oozing out of my lips, nose, and ears. An eighth of my pleasure knows it is bad for me and in no way beneficial to society and that eighth also reaches for that paperback escape like a three hundred and forty page idol. I already feel dirty for making my poor little computer into a sexual object to write that first paragraph. While I can wilt my conscious into reading one the actual creation of a romance novel is a step too far. I won’t be the addict dealer. I won’t have that here after I am dead.
If I ever do become a sociologist though I should write a few papers about them. I could do it now. Oh, the bliss of research. I know the form of romance novels so well that I bet I can turn to the five key points within any romance novel (given a five page range) with only seeing the art work, the back page teaser, and the thickness/font. Wait did I just give away the sickening amount of romance novels I have read?
Last night I told two men of my plan to write a romance novel in the next few weeks. Of course they both wanted to hear some plot lines and I could really only give my two least thought out and therefore least embarrassing plots. I can’t even tell people about my ideas without my face heating.
I can’t write a romance novel; sorry my bank account.
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June 14, 2006
more carrots
Recently i have been reading three books about the flesh and the soul. And yes, I do have something to say about that
In "When Jesus Became God" I am struggling to know what is orthodox and what is well known. I have no issue with God coming in the form of man but maybe I should think more about divinity and humanity. I am no Greek but...perhaps I am a belittling the the word HOLY means. So I am again thinking about how I have belittled God and set up my own idol of humanity. When I think about the ways of the Old Testament and New Teastament I don't see justice in God's acts. I think I want God to be someone that he is not and don't know his attributes.
THe other book I am reading is one of Christian Sprituality called "Tortured Spirit" which has made me love my flesh. I often state and complain of pain but it really is a blessing that i am aware of my flesh. Many people live life not thinking about their body and if they do only in terms of a fix it up project. Recently I am content with what shape I am and the pain of my body. Yesterday I was falling in love with my turkey arms because they are fun to touch(Yip and Yop for that!).
i have also included "Dairy of a Wombat" in my life. It is a children's book about sleeping, finding new friends, and eatting. I am in fact becoming a wombat without new friends. Tonight I was going to go out but...against all advice will take a sleep aid in about two seconds. I don't want to be a stick in the mud. I want to go and dance. I have to make breakfast for all the little children on the marrow and I want my bed. I want to sleep and not think and be happy.
This weekend I will go out all the time! I will forget the past and live a life of wonder. I will be a high school party girl again but with more taste and discertion.
YES! yes! yes.
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April 23, 2006
me Jane.
WHO is the one women that can celebrate Earth day everyday of the year with style? JANE GOODALL!
Today we set out to meet her and have her hand clasp our collective hand. After we got lost and arrived at the Franklin Park Zoo about three hours late the line was a bit LOOOOOOOOOONG. The only answer was to answer the age old question 'what would Jane Goodall do?'.
We saw the zoo.
we were almost killed by hords of people struggling to see the baby gorilla.
We peeped in on Jane from windows and mocked the iorny.
We never got to ask Jane to diner or to spend the night.
We ad great animal luck because they unlike Jane wanted to meed us.
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February 15, 2006
7card Valentine
To my right my brother Brian. To my left THE BANDIT! That was the name of the cowboy sitting down next to me at the poker tabel. The Bandit started the night by giving me a rose and telling me that he took it easy on the ladies.
'That rose will never fade,honey". The Bandit said this looking deep into my eyes and cutting the deck.
As I played Texas Hold Um', Five card draw, and seven card stud with free chips and free gin & tonics--
The first half of the day was spent on a bike, in a feild singing to myself, playing pool with my dad and his friend, and going to lunch with daddy. We ate very well at one of KC BEST BBQ pits. Nothing spells love to me like getting meat. It was a great day.
--Later that night sitting in what can only be discribed as the local and midway hook-up and produce free drinks and a place to crash within safe walking distance. Now Brian was a bartender and he can pick drinks...he can pick bars.
I won Valentines Day 2006! YES, take that cupid! Being with family and meeting a 67 year old poker player named the Bandit...my life is a dream.
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February 13, 2006
Fear is the Heart of Love
It does not take long. This time I've made it about a day and half before I reach for the best book in the Davis household: Amy Vanderbilt's New Complete Book of Etiquette, The Guide to Gracious Living. It maybe copyrighted 1963 but I firmly hold that it is The Guide to Gracious Living. At times, we have all sat in the living room and read aloud from Ms. Vanderbilt's book. Humor can arise as one travels through the ceremonies of life, dress and manners, to the all-important 1963 audience with the Pope. The book though was never that funny to me but was just fascinating much like my childhood favorite books: The little witch’s book of yoga, Gnomes: a field guide, Pickles the Fire Cat, The Golly Sisters take the West, and Go, Dog. GO! Why were these books so much fun for me? Why do you think…common thread…Sociology
Never do I shine so well as when I am at the sociology convention asking questions and getting discussions started. I enjoy contemporary social thought, statistics, methodology and I can read people. For months now, I’ve been less then myself. I lack confidence. I keep changing my mind, looking for the next thing, trying to distance myself from friends, and blah, blah, blah. Verily I am fearful of my future but more to the point not hitting the success I have dreamed would be mine. At some point, I decided it was a good idea not to study for the GRE, get only ½ of any grad school applications finished, and look for something else to be the next thing. Chicago had that awsome program starting and I just sat on my fingers. So here it is, I totally want to be a living in my sociological dream date but I fear that I am not enough. MAGH! All my friends please be so kind and: don’t let me say something else, Don’t let me ‘change’ my mind, hit me hard on the face and say WTF.
IF I fail at least I’ll have that and not this stupid fear. So self-centered where is the Christ in this? I may go to seminary first before Sociology School.
I made a wonderful lunch today.
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