November 13, 2006
simply beautiful
sublime is the only word for the world outside today. the temp is at 51 and the wind is still. From the back of the house four trees hold five nest and no leaves. At the top of each of the trees is about fifty birds yapping at eachother. Sitting with me is a bowl of Ox tail soup. It is the kind of day where every sense is alive.
Posted by razorback at 04:16 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
June 04, 2006
1970's Chevy Impala
On wednessday I am going to give my notice. I awoke at three and was unable to get back to sleep until five. The job may not be perfect but I think I would stick it out, if the weather here would stand up for me. The winter was mild and yet the idea of winter sprinkled anew with each grey moment this weekend. Tami has wooed my with tales of a summer land and I will go WEST (God willing). I can't deal with stress and weather.
My computer crashed again. When I woke-up at eight she told me
"hope, my screen is black and so is my heart." I am in hopes that Abi will arise again from the ashes. If not...my next big spend is a car not a computer
Posted by razorback at 02:16 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack
February 14, 2006
Hamster's have cages! Thems' fighten' words 'jb'!
That little hamster is Always stealing the thunder!
'I'll get my blog right after Princess Juicies and steal her thunder'
"I'll post funny blogs and win the admiration of the indi blog community"
' I'll be all mystery man and have lack of knowledge reccomend me"
"I'll give Huggie Bear a ride to the airport as to get her out of the way and take over the bostonhouse...first the sled..then nobody eats sugar...then I will control them all with candy bars"
'I'll take the remaining house mates to NYC and then leave them there as my agents. Tami alone will be fooled into service by the beloved eyes of the sleek canine who fains being shy"
You think your so smooth! But I see your plan. Mostly I watched Smokie and the Bandit. Fine film, Fine film. I want have a nemisis just like the bandit. I want a CB radio too because that is how you avoid your nemisis.
This movie has it all: Truckers, dogs, wives and children, the road, people talking 'jive turkey',stupid sons, great lines like
do you ever take your hat off?
I do for one thing and one thing only.
take your hat off. I mean if you want too.
I want to.
True Romance, and all of this is done for beer.
I just adore that film I don't mean to watch it...it just happens. The sing song balled of oh, they call you the Bandit pulls upon my heart strings and my inner desire to be a stockcar racer.Really what this movie shows for the world to see is that I have very strange movie taste. I have really trashy taste but I have critera that is very difficult to fill. Drama is the most difficult movie to get me to enjoy. It is just too easy. The charaters are manipulated into gross representations of humanity and then put in forced situations( wait did I just discribe comedy?). With comedy you can drop the pretense of drama and move right into the stakes of the plot. Can you beat opening words like, "I was born a poor black child"? They deliver a punch and set up all the format with out the mood music, lighting, and angst of DRAMA with often an easy to read plot. I hate knowing what is going to happen in a movie and with comedy at any moment a panio could fall from the sky. It is true that I am in fact saying things that can be reversed. IT is all personal taste and that is what gets me about the acamedy awards and such. Is comedy somehow less then Drama? No, it bothers me that as a society was judge some art work more nobel then others. I do it all the time with my little "that's a fims not a Movie".
See, I am not talking about Scary Movie 1-3 here but pop culture at its finest. We love democracy but not when it comes to ourselves and taste. We want our bands to be the unknown, our movies to be profound but not easily accessable, and our books to be like calling cards.I hate it when I agree with David Brooks but we really are just treding the water to the next status marker. Yet, some work is dripple and pittle. OH, but blah blah. I just want a nemisis so that I can glue their shoes together, shave their eyebrows, put itching cream on the toilet seat, and ride my beautiful car off into the sunset while laughing and talking on the CB Radio.
'Breaker 1-9 for a radio check'
'Come on back legs (my actual CB Name (a hillarious story)), you seen smokie Bear?'
Posted by razorback at 11:30 AM | Comments (4) | TrackBack
February 08, 2006
Title it, Tami.
At first I saw it as liberation. All my bad poems were gone and I had a blank slate. Now, the ones I liked are gone because I don't save in one more than one source. I miss my poems. I miss them more then any thing else in my busted computer.
I wrote some today. I think it will be good for me to go back to the pen and paper. I can see all my mistakes and all my new ideas. It really is a positive then
new start
better process
I'll get a sprial notebook which is the same as a computer.
Posted by razorback at 08:51 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack
February 02, 2006
flavor.
After beng informed that I am 38lbs over weight I thought...I am okay with that. I told the personal trainer that the most he could hope to lose out of me is 23lbs. These 23lbs would HAVE to be lost for mighty good reason
1.Going to have sex
2.Parent needs a kidney or something like that.
3.Famine
To be 38lbs lighter would be the end of most foods I love to eat.
No Dairy--i laugh.
Only select grains--silly.
No sweets--maybe for about three weeks.
Cut the drinks--how about moderation?
Why would I want to give up things that I love for the rest of my life to make myself 38lbs lighter? The most important weight is the measurment between desires. Food is civilization and I will not give up the beauty of foods for an extended longevity.
People have been coming up with new and intersting ways to eat.Death is going to come without my control. At least when it comes I can die remembering the taste of good food. I will eat Mayo and I see no compelling reason to stop.
Posted by razorback at 12:39 PM | Comments (3) | TrackBack
January 23, 2006
by jack handy
LUKE 17:1-10 Get out your pipe—it’s sermon reflection time.
Far too often I degrade the effects of the fall. In the past I have diminished the evil of sin by trying to just forget about what happened or not let it at all affect me. This is not a proper way of going about forgiveness. Nothing will make actions disappear and forgiveness is not time travel to the land of oh, just forget it. Christ did not die that I may never sin but because I have sinned and will sin. He died because He is all the big ideas: love, truth, justice, mercy, etcetera. He is good and that good is infallible, infinite, and independent. He must be all of His attributes all of the time and therefore He did not bestow us with grace as to ignore justice.
What is forgiveness then?! As Bradley pointed out in the sermon, we think it is weakness but it is strength. The things that I have truly forgiven are not the things I have conveniently forgotten. If you just forgot sin you would really be in acceptance not forgiveness. God has never accepted what is against His nature. I believe that to really forgive is to look at sin full in the face and say I relinquish my rights by the norms of man and the justice of God and now cling only to God.
Look at marital affairs as an example of forgiveness not as forgetfulness. This is the kind of sin you can’t just let slide. Often when a couple tries to see past an affair, the guilty party has a much easier time than the innocent party. The guilty party confesses and relatively quickly feels better. The innocent party tries to forget, but trust is broken and they begin to sin against the guilty party. Not grand sin, but little welts of mistrust litter the marriage until the guilty party starts to feel like they are always paying for one mistake. You really can’t forget sin because it comes back to you and it mutates into new shapes of offence. You have to instead trust God and give up the right and then give God the pain. That is not weakness—that is impossible. Again I have to say I am so glad that sanctification is not my own work but a work of God.
‘Even when we were dead in our trespasses, God made us alive together with Christ- by grace you have been saved- and raised us up with him and seated us with him in the heavenly place in Christ Jesus, so that in the coming ages he might show the immeasurable richness of his grace in kindness toward us in Christ Jesus. For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works.’ Ephesians 2:5-8
It is not surprising then that the disciples’ response after being told to forgive so fully was “Increase our faith!” What else can you say?
Forgive us our sins as we forgive those that have sinned against us. I have never really thought about my need to state that I have been sinned against before the sermon yesterday. I felt that to admit that I have been sinned against, if not weak, was just plain un-Christian. If I can say that this hurts, or still hurts, then I feel like I am saying God’s love is not enough. To just see my own sin is to make the problem of sin self-contained and set myself up to think that I can solve problems on my own. Jesus admits it for us—we will sin and will be sinned against in the Lord’s prayer. When it comes down to it Jesus will never just forgive and forget, but will remember Justice. If we just forgot about the past how could his sacrifice be truly a sacrifice? God would not be completely Holy if Justice was left to squander. Instead one day I will stand in judgment with all my sin. Up until yesterday, having it all come up to hit me again was something that frightened me. Today, I can’t help but think that it will be the most awful and wonderful moment in eternity—all of my sin and all His forgiveness in one moment. To dwell in forgiveness with the fresh taste of freedom that is paradise. So, I have to learn to forgive the right way and not just let things slide but to see sin and turn against it toward Christ and the person(s) made in his image.
“We often see forgiveness as weak. When you forgive, you have to admit that you have been wronged, and you must admit that the person that wronged you has the strength to wrong you again.”
“At the Cross I can say I have sinned and I have been sinned against.”
“Forgiveness is foremost the admission and affirmation of Justice.” -- Bradley Barns
Posted by razorback at 05:55 PM | Comments (3) | TrackBack
January 09, 2006
homer
When the famous music fades and you are sitting watching Springfield through the viewpoint of your favorite yellow family; do you sit and remember the times in your life that you felt like the characters? Right now my confession is that I am Homer wiggling his fingers unable to find the thing or doing to make the blog do the what now. If only Lisa would come home and fix it. The big problem in all of this is that I am not a cute fictional character that will endear myself into your heart though I have big huge faults, a huge belly, and little hair.
What I have going for me though is great hair. I’ll read the directions and make the bloggie thingie nice.
Posted by razorback at 03:59 PM | Comments (4) | TrackBack